Managing child custody is often not an easy task for parents who are moving on in separate directions. The parents may now have individual daily lives and schedules, but both parents still have rights and obligations in the care of the child. Managing child custody successfully does not have to be difficult.
There are two basic kinds of child custody awarded in courts: legal and physical. The right for a parent or guardian to make decisions in determining how the child is raised is known as legal custody. Physical custody is the right for the parent to live with or visit the child and courts often award both legal and physical custody to both parents which is called joint custody.
Communication is Required in Managing Child Custody
The divorced parents of the child should immediately establish a line of communication, for this makes setting up visitation, along with communicating about the child's best interests, much less complicated. Each parent should always follow through with the guidelines of the established rules of communication they have agreed on.
It is also best to resolve conflict as quick as possible, for holding grudges can only cause stress and come between communicating with each other. Always try to keep in mind that even parents who are united have conflict that concern their child.
Creating a Schedule is Helpful
Parents should be on the same page at all times, and hanging a calendar in the kitchen with a schedule for each month is the perfect way to achieve this. This also helps keeps the child informed on what his routine will be for the month.
Don't Put the Child in the Middle in a Divorce
Children should never be left to feel they have a part in a divorce or that they are a burden. Therefore, do not show disrespect towards the other parent and never use the child as a messenger, for keeping the child out of the middle of all confrontation is of the utmost importance.
It is also advisable to keep visitation and child support separate – It is better to file with the courts for unpaid child support than to withhold visitation. In most cases, children benefit from having two parents in their lives.
Respect the Other Parent's Visitation Time
Do not call and bother the other parent or the child unnecessarily during the other parent's visitation time. Support the relationship of the other parent and child by giving them their time together without interference, but the visiting parent should not overstep his/her boundary by scheduling events that extend past the visitation time.
Protective Visitation
If a child has been abused by a parent, there may be no visitation or limited visitation ordered by the courts. There are circumstances where children need protection when visiting a parent, because they have been physically, mentally or sexually abused by that parent or someone else living in the household.
In some circumstances, a parent may be in denial of believing that the child has been abused by his/her spouse or another family member in the home, therefore the courts must step in and protect the child, along with making sure if the child will be comfortable with visiting that parent in a protected environment.
Courts always determine custody with the child's best interest in mind, but even when awarded joint custody, there is usually one parent who is the primary parent and with whom the child lives. It can take a while to learn to manage child custody successfully, so don't be surprised if everything does not always run smoothly. When managing child custody, regardless of how the courts detail each parent's custody rights and obligations, it is still up to the parents to deal with custody and all that it involves.
Sources:
Livestrong.com. Understanding Child Custody (accessed May 02, 2010).
Supervised Visitation Network. A Parent's Guide to Making Child Focused Visitation Decisions (accessed May 02, 2010).
Bambi Hokanson - Bambi has worked in the past as an illustrator, editor and proofreader. She is currently working as a freelance writer. Bambi loves ...
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